Demise

The day was 19 Apr.
I had just fallen asleep for less than an hour, and my mobile rang. Time 0035hrs.
Checked. Looked like from hospital.
And there i was told, mom had passed away.

Did a quick washup, and drove down to the hospital. Called my siblings along the way to get them down to take a look at mom, and had to prepare for her funeral.

I reached the hospital in less than half hour. There she was, lying down looking as if she's sleeping. She always said she's in deep sleep when I cannot wake her up. Yet, she always said she cannot sleep well all the time. Oh well.
Her body was not that cold yet, definitely not warm anymore. Took a picture of her then, but I shall not post it here.

The nurse told me to process her death certificate. And once all that want to see her comes, they will get their staff to send to mortuary.

Slowly, one by one my siblings appeared. Some nieces and nephews came as well.

It happened that dad was in hospital too, for his gout issue. He's has some gout issues, and his legs were hurting too much, thus went to hospital. Good thing they were in the same hospital, at least can get dad to take a look as well.

Anyway, it was a long night. Dad insisted on getting his friend to arrange the funeral. No objection, as long as can get his friend. Miraculously, we managed to find his friend, even though we cannot find his phonebook at home.

Thus, called the undertaker, and arranged for the necessary for funeral preparation.
We decided to make it a 5-day event, and according to Chinese Taoist process.
Funeral would be held at my sister's place in Tampines. My parents had stayed with her for a few years, and they had a little more friends there.
Made sense, just that in normal tradition, it should be one of the sons' place, or their own home.

By the end of the night, only managed to reach home about 4+am. Tried to sleep, but somehow didn't manage to have a wink that night.

Morning had broken. Reached there at 10+am. A short while later, my uncle came. The guys were setting up tentage and stuff.
The rest appeared slowly.

When the undertaker reached there, there was some procedure to be done to bring her body in. The Taoist priest will also chant some sutra (or whatever those chants are) to lead her spirit to the right places. Something like that? Hmmm.

By 2pm, things were more settled. Arranged for her cremation, where to put the urn, and also to decide where to place her in her 'new home'. When she was alive, she said many times she wanted to be put at a temple in Bedok upon her death. Arranged for obiturary the next day.

The youths in the family were also appointed to take turns to look after the place at night. Doing wake at HDB void deck needs lots of manpower.

And then, time passes. Some people came to pay respects to her. And then Day1 just passed like that.

For the obituary, I put my mobile phone, just in case any friend or relative were to see it, can call up if they need to.
The obituary was to be published in the chinese newspaper on the second day.

Then, on Day2, damn bloody early in the morning probably at 5+ or 6+ am, someone called my mobile.
They said they would be delivering wreaths, and needed some information. In my blur blur state, they asked for information such as where I work, my email address etc. I gave them some, but not exactly remember what they asked for already.

My wife told me her friend also had similar experience when her friend's mother passed away. The caller seemed to be fishing out information for some database use. They were just lying about sending wreaths etc.
Who on earth work so early in the flower shop? Damn damn damn.
I think I received 2 or 3 calls in total that are just trying to get database information.
The second call I received ask for my siblings names in English to send wreath. I told him just send in Chinese, then he just hanged up.
Third call is a little more straight forward. She asked if we are in the work of doing business. I said no, then she said thank you and bye bye.
Simply said, some people are simply .... hmmm .... what word to use? Oh well.

At the end of it, only 1 or 2 calls were genuine to ask about my mom's funeral information.
That was an interesting experience though.

All Day1 to Day4 were long days. And to top it all, I had to run 2 rounds to send my dad and son and maid home first, as they need to sleep early. Everyday it's like reaching home after midnight.

Day5, the funeral procession itself.
We had live band to play music. Also had the traditional band with the "big head dolls" (

大头娃娃) for her. Mom made it easy for us. Weather was good after a short downpour. Floor may be wet, but it's a lot easier to walk then under the hot sun, without shoes on.

And there we were, at Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium Complex. The place where she would be cremated, and ultimately placed her urn.

After a short ritual at the service hall, it's time for her to go.

Slowly, the coffin is being channelled into the fire flames, and there, ashes to ashes ... ... ...